


You Crack Me Up

by thejerkhunter



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Easter Egg Hunt, Gay, M/M, Tbh I don’t even know, bell lives for it, murphy is snarky and full of himself, octavia is just vibing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15749079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejerkhunter/pseuds/thejerkhunter
Summary: Bellamy Blake is a charitable man who finds solitude in conducting an Easter egg hunt for the children in the public park.John Murphy likes chocolate.akaThe one where Bellamy holds an Easter egg hunt and Murphy steals the eggs from kids





	You Crack Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> omg hi!! this is my first murphamy fic on here and I decided to spread the 100 love after the heartbreaking ending! Thank you for reading :))  
> Tumblr : creativitear

Bellamy had always thought everyone had _their_ holiday season, and his was undeniably Easter. He always understood that wasn't the obvious choice - with the pick of large Christmas trees, turkey and oversized pumpkins - but he had always found solitude in the warmth of the Easter season: bright yellows, burnt oranges and so much chocolate you feel ill afterwards.

  
And so, in his rejoice and younger sisters judgements, he decided to spread the love of the day by conducting an Easter egg hunt for the children around the town.

  
And it had started off well, of course. He had hidden the eggs quite obviously to avoid them getting lost, and the children had been running around with their baskets, more than happy to be collecting the eggs. But when the third teary-eyed child came running up to him with an empty basket and whimpers of unfair playing, he knew _something_ must be going on. After all, he knew he couldn't have hidden them that well.  
The third child had pointed in the general direction of some grassy land, with few trees surrounding it, and when Bellamy went to investigate, he was faced with one of the worst situations that could even be possible on such a joyful occasion.

  
A man - no older than 25 - having stolen one of the children's baskets, almost full to the top with the little eggs. Another teary child was looking up at him, though he showed little remorse to this and just frowned at the kid.

  
"Too bad, kid. I found it first so it's mine."

  
The child had begun to wail, but the man just overlooked it in favour of wondering towards where another of the shiny chocolates was hidden. Bellamy scoffs.

  
"And what exactly do you think you're doing?"

The man turns and Bellamy gets a proper look at him. He had his brown hair slicked back, and was wearing something of a leather jacket and jeans; although it looked oversized on his stringy figure. His mouth was curled upwards into a smirk and the predicted guilt on his face was nonexistent, instead replaced by a sort of humoured glint. Bellamy ignores the way his heart falters for a second.

  
"Well, it's an Easter egg hunt, is it not?" He inquires, though his voice shows nothing of question. "I'm _hunting_."

  
Bellamy ignores the amusement playing at the thief's lips, puffing out his chest.

  
"Sorry, I think I missed the part where you were 7 and under."

  
"Kinda ageist, don't you think?" Bellamy's blood begins to boil, though he tries to push it back when he sees the children, no older than 5, nearby.

  
"No. No, I don't." He says through gritted teeth, infuriated at how utterly relaxed Chocolate Thief is.

  
"You don't think? Maybe you should work on that." Bellamy groans.

  
"Who even _are_ you?" The thief's face lights up as though Bellamy had asked him something of worth.

  
"John Murphy. Avid chocolate eater and thief."

  
"And what? You're too skint to pop to the shops and stop tormenting children?"

  
"Nah, but this just seems like so much more fun." Bellamy looks him up and down as he -John- unwraps one of the eggs and promptly pops it into his mouth. Bellamy, usually calm, doesn't think he has ever felt more inclined to punch someone in the face.

  
"Checking me out?" John teases, part of his mouth still full of the chocolate egg. Bellamy winces at the sight.

  
"Don't chew with your mouth open."

  
"Sorry, mom," he snorts, clutching his basket closer and beginning to walk away. "I'll just be off continuing the hunt-!"

  
"Like hell you are."

  
A few of the younger kids gasp at his language and Bellamy curses himself for not thinking before he spoke.

Infuriatingly, Murphy joins in with them, looking up at him in a mocking shock.

  
"Did you just use a naughty word?" He exclaims, the amusement in his voice speaking louder than the faux disappointment.

  
"No, I-!"

  
"Well, well, Mr-", Murphy pauses, suddenly realising he doesn't know the other man's name. "Mr Egg-Hunt-Fun-Spoiler. I don't quite think that kind of language is appropriate, do you?"

  
"Blake." Murphy promptly raises an eyebrow.

  
"That's a nice little noise."

  
"No, my name. Bellamy Blake,"  
Murphy freezes, eyes travelling up and down Bellamy in an almost evaluative way. His cringe at noticing Murphy's eyes doesn't go amiss, yet he continues anyway.

  
"Not related to Octavia Blake, are you?"

  
"That I am." He see's Murphy's previously amused face turn into something much more cold, leaving Bellamy confused. Most people who knew his sister where quite fond of her and he didn't think this kid would be much different, but at the dropping of his face he realises there must be some sort of story there.

  
"Don't mention that you saw me, yeah?" Murphy says, although it sounds more like a statement than a question. "Don't want to get involved with that again."

  
"What happened-?"

  
"It's irrelevant. You're welcome for making your day a bit more interesting." Murphy states, the previous cheek back on his face as he throws Bellamy a wink and turns to walk away.

  
Bellamy ignores the giddy feeling in his stomach.  
—

  
"So who's John Murphy?"

  
Octavia froze the same way Murphy had, peering over her book to look at her brother. He had propped himself up on the arm of the couch, popping a chocolate into his mouth with a curious expression.

  
"Why?"

  
"I met him today. Said he knew you." She blinks.

  
" _Happily_?"

  
"Not quite. Asked me not to tell you. Looked rather kicked."

  
"Literally." Octavia muttered under her breath, prompting Bellamy to raise an eyebrow.

  
"Literally? You kicked him?"

  
"No. I mean, not just me."

  
"Not just you?"

  
"The kids annoying, Bell! He makes jokes that are too fucking far. My friends... they used to, uh, beat him," Octavia pauses, noticing the glare on her brother's face. "Not beat beat, just a bit of a smack around. They stopped after another group began."

  
"And you were okay with this? With some scrawny kid getting beat up?" Bellamy looks shocked, shaking his head at her silence. "I expected better from you, Octavia."

  
"It's not _like_ that, Bell! It was Atom and the other guys. They just didn't get along, it's the circle of social life."

  
"I'm disappointed, O. No wonder the kid looked eager to leave."

  
"Where did you even meet him?" Octavia asks, leaning back on her seat to look at his sheepish face.

  
"At the egg hunt I hosted."

  
"And, what? He stole a child?" Octavia snorts at her own joke, sitting upwards on the couch. Bellamy had always said her poor posture was going to catch up on her in old age.

  
"Actually, he stole some chocolate from a child," Octavia gasps and Bellamy feels the sudden urge to defend the crook. "But that doesn't make him a bad person!"

  
"Bellamy, you're defending someone who stole from children!"

  
"No, it wasn't like that. He was actually kind of witty about it, in an extremely annoying way."

  
"Witty?"

  
"Yeah. Y'know, snarky and quick comebacks." Octavia's eyes widen and for a solid minute she just blinks at him, almost as though she was putting together the last pieces of the puzzle. "What?"

  
"You like him," She says finally, leaning forwards to rest her head on her hand. "You like John Murphy. The resident Dickhead."

  
"I do _not_."

  
"Bell, this is exactly your type," she sighs. "Douchebag who steals chocolate, says funny things and has a tragic past. Not to mention his scrawny ass face."

  
"I don't like him."

  
"Oh, yeah? So you don't think he was cute?" Bellamy stops, thinking back to the boy. He had looked so proud of himself with the little basket and the mischievous glint in his eyes. And the badass punk biker look definitely did something to Bellamy's insides.

  
"You can think someone is attractive and not propose to them, O!"

  
"So you didn't think he was funny?"

  
"O, this is hardly—!”

  
"And you didn't once do that puffing out your chest thing you always do when you like a guy?"

  
"No, because I don't— _puffing out my chest thing?_ "

  
"Y'know, the whole," Octavia pauses her sentence to mimic her brother. She puffs out her chest exaggeratedly, pulling the seemingly stuck scorn on his face. "I'm tough and I want you to think I'm cute thing."

  
Bellamy almost looks offended.

  
"No, I did not do that! And I have never once done—," Bellamy interrupts himself, remembering their conversation with a look of horror on his face. "I did that. I did the puffy out thing."

  
"So you admit you have a thing for him?" Octavia grins, seeming almost ecstatic about the possibility and Bellamy knows it isn't because the subject of the accused feelings is her arch nemesis. Octavia has been trying to get Bellamy to move on from Clarke for over 6 months now and, although he claims he already has, Octavia neglects to believe it until he is gallivanting with someone else. And even if he is gallivanting with _Egg Stealing Kinda Funny But Also a Somewhat Arsehole guy_ , she would be happy that it's someone.

  
"I've met him once. I don't have a thing."

  
"Love at first-"

  
"Don't even finish that sentence," Bellamy warns, ignoring the growing grin on his sisters face. "And also don't think you're going to get away that easy with the beating him up thing."

  
"Ooooh, getting defensive!" Octavia teases, throwing an over exaggerated wink at him. Bellamy sighs.

  
"I'm never going to get a break with you, am I?"She shrugs, finally relaxing her shoulders enough to lean back into the couch.

  
"You learn quick," she teases, picking her phone back up off the couch. "I can give you his number, if you want."

  
Bellamy shakes his head so fast he runs the risk of it falling off. He could not think of anything more creepy than him having borderline stalked this younger boy only to flirt with him over text message. The idea of it almost makes Bellamy gag.  
Octavia glances up momentarily from her phone.

  
"I didn't hear a no." she inquires, an eyebrow raised promptly at him as a reminder of how infuriating it is that she picked up the most annoying of his habits.

  
"Did you hear a yes in that delusional world of yours?"

  
"If i say yes, can I give you his number?"

  
"No."

  
"If i say no, can I give-?"

  
"No," He cuts off before she can even finish her sentence. "The only appropriate time to give him my number is if he appears at the house with a marriage proposal and requests of me my number to arrange the marriage,"

  
"Why couldnt you type in your number then?"

  
"No arms." Bellamy replies with a shrug.

  
"Voice recognition?"

  
"It only recognises German."

  
"You could just read it out to him."

  
"He only speaks German." Octavia makes an unsatisfied hum.

  
"Your marriage is going to be a complete flop."

  
"That definitely was not my point," Bellamy sighs out again. If he had a penny for every time he had sighed during this conversation, he would easily have enough to pay for the wedding single handedly. Not that he wanted to marry the boy he knew of one day and especially not someone that is an alleged arch nemesis of his sister. "I'm not even sure how we got to marriage. Our upcoming anniversary is of about an hour.”

  
"Maybe put the wedding planning off for a little while. First you should take his-!"

  
"Number. No, not happening," Bellamy replies, rising from the seat. "And don't you dare say anything to him, O."

  
"I won't." She sing-songs as he leaves the room. 

  
Bellamy questions if he believes her.

  
—  
One of Bellamy's least favourite spots in the world would undoubtedly be any store that sells an assortment of apples. He could never understand people who unbelievably enjoyed grocery shopping, let alone those who work in the stores for tens of years. In fact, after tens of minutes after pushing the dreaded trolley around, he is contemplating letting him and Octavia starve for life.

  
And if the whole bargain shopping is enough torture for him, there's the actual transaction part of the deal, where weekly shops can't be stacked onto a sadly crammed self serve and he is forced to socialise in order to not go hungry. And if that isn't an equivalent of hell, then he is forced to carry aforementioned heavy bags from the shop to the car and from the car to the house. Alike to today, where trip one was spent balancing four bags on one arm and unlocking his house door using his only free finger.

  
"O," he yells into the house after his struggle. "Come help me. I've got groceries.”

  
"I'll be a second." Octavia says to someone from a distance, prompting more confusion than Bellamy usually experiences. He hears a distinctively male voice say something incomprehensible as Bellamy walks back out front door to continue his bag carrying trip. Seconds later, Octavia joins him.

  
"Is someone else in there?" Bellamy asks, stacking more bags into his arms. It wasn't particularly rare for Octavia to have friends over, nor for her not to tell him, but the voice sounded unfamiliar to the usual telling of Jasper or Monty. "It's not a boyfriend, is it? Because I don't have the speech prepared yet."

  
Octavia says something under her breathe that Bellamy almost makes out to be 'not mine' before she is speaking up again, finishing off the amount of bags left in the car and following her brother inside.

  
"Nah, nothing like that. Just a friend." The uncertainty in her voice makes Bellamy raise another questionable eyebrow and he goes to say something until he walks into his kitchen only to see the Egg Stealer there with, unsurprisingly, a carton of free range eggs in his hands. He is sitting up on the kitchen counter which, Bellamy thinks, is not only going to damage it, but also horrifically unsanitary.

  
Murphy seems completely unbothered by this fact, his eyes moving from the carton to Bellamy's face, the confident smirk that haunted his nightmares on his face.

  
"Bellamy," he strings out, as though untangling a ball of yarn. "Fancy seeing you here."

  
Bellamy blinks at him.

  
"This is my... house." He says dumbly, regretting it as Murphy's smirk transforms into an almost evil grin.

  
"A genius, you are," He snarks, jumping off the counter. He turns to Octavia. "Had no clue you were related to Einstein."

  
"Play nicely." She teases, putting the bags where Murphy was previously seated. He shrugs.

  
"You're one to talk."

  
"And you're one to hold grudges," she pauses. "And we made a deal not to discuss that."

  
"We also made a deal that I get fed but there's no egg in my mouth yet."

  
"You guys... hate each other. What changed?" His sister and Murphy equally shrug.

  
"She offered me food, an apology and the opportunity to piss you off. You can guess which one really swayed me."  
Octavia looks up at Bellamy, who is still staring at Murphy like he had laid the carton of eggs himself. Murphy seems to be getting immense enjoyment out of it.

  
"I know I'm hot, Blake, but there's really no need to stare. I'll get you a framed photo for your birthday." Murphy winks at him and he is forced to ignore the way his cheeks threaten to spill pink.

  
"You sure do think a lot of yourself, don't you?" The younger boy gasps melodramatically.

  
"I do not _think_ anything."  
"That certainly explains a lot." Bellamy mutters back, oblivious to the appreciation from the other boy.

  
"Jealous, Bigger Blake?"

  
"Have you ever been successful in saying something not egotistical?"

  
"Nothing wrong with a little self confidence," Murphy shrugs, pushing the eggs into Bellamy's hands. "Although there is something wrong with letting your guests _starve_."

  
"You are most definitely not my guest."

  
"Don't act like you don't want me here, Bell. You and I both know you have a soft spot for me," Murphy pauses for a beat. "All three of us know, actually. Considering girl Blake invited me here on the terms of not bringing that fact up."

  
Octavia attempts to shoot daggers before she sees the twitching at the corner of her brothers lips. Impossibly, she realises, Bellamy actually _likes_ this. He likes Murphy's smartass comments, despite his words against it. She rolls her eyes, knowing fully that neither of the boys will be looking her way. He certainly has an odd type.

  
"I don't know if you've realised this yet," Bellamy begins, puffing his chest out. Octavia forced back a mixture of laughing and yelling 'I told you so'. "But this is the second time we have spoken. And your first impression wasn't exactly angelic."

  
"We both know you don't like angelic," Murphy states, taking a step towards him almost as though not letting Bellamy assert dominance over him. Despite being inches shorter than him, he oozes levels of confidence that Bellamy couldn't begin to reach. "I've met you twice and I know you prefer interesting. And here I am, stealing your eggs, lounging in your house and stealing your lamp. It's pretty interesting."

  
"Stealing my _what_?"

  
"Eggs. I take them scrambled, thanks." Murphy cheeks, walking through the house to sit on their couch. Bellamy finds himself moments later with a begrudged pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.

  
Octavia has to excuse herself to the bathroom to laugh, returning five minutes later to a sight that she expected 2nd to least in her house (least being John Murphy actually behaving him for once, of course).

  
The guest of the house on the floor as her brother, hair to feet in a coating of egg, stands above him equipped him an extra large bag of flour. Octavia freezes on her tracks, noticing that this has to be the first time she has seen Murphy laugh in the entirety of knowing the boy. His eyes are crinkled at the sides and the smile on his face is stretching from ear to ear, completely contrasting the furious facade on her brother's face. In the seconds she watches, she witnesses as the flour tips over Murphy's head as he screams complaints about how much he liked his shirt and how his alleged 'beautiful face does not deserve this treatment'. Not realising she is there, Murphy uses the baggy sleeve of his shirt to wipe the flour from his eyes, looking up to lock eyes with the egg-soaked Bellamy. There is a moment of eye contact before the two boys break out in hysterical laughter, Bellamy just as well falling beside Murphy on the floor after clutching his stomach and doubling over with laughter. For a second she goes to jokingly ask them what the fuck just happened, but decided against it and instead lets the two idiots have their moment.

When returning back to her room, the recurring thought of why it had never occurred to her to set them up sooner played in her mind. She finally decides that her brothers total maturity and Murphy's total immaturity was where she went wrong. Despite Bellamy always acting proper, composed and totally in control of every situation, behind that layer is the truth of him just wanting to pour flour over a boys head or steal chocolate eggs from children. That's why him and Clarke had never worked out, she puts together. His and Clarke's relationship had been borderline professional, mature and, quite frankly, a bore. They were alike to the point of too alike.

  
Murphy, on the other hand, is too unlike to any other person on earth. And, if it was the last thing she is to do, she will get them together. She owes it to her idiot of a brother. And she knows that the complete bribery of Murphy was not the reason he came today, nor was it that he even remotely liked her as a person even after her belated but nonetheless dreadfully long apology. He obviously felt that he and Bellamy had something and that, she concludes, is all she needs to help give them the push together.

  
Or, rather, an equal pull.


End file.
